We all need need a friend,company ,partner to be around us and by our side when we need.but we never really define for oneself what do we really mean by when the time comes they be there.we wish our friend to be standing in the que right before us or worst behind us to hide our own insecurities but we never realised no one can discover or cover those secret insecurities of ourselves.some friends can be better than you some really selfish some dumb unnecessarily getting behind for no other reason but their own sake while many other with many other characteristics. In time I realise none really surpassed the kind of person I am the kind of innocent soul,the kind who doesn’t really know to speak Ill to others and the kind who doesn’t know to hurt anyone but eventually I’m the kind people want to be I’m the kind people wish to be that is what I have learnt about myself as a person.well that doesn’t mean my existence is superior and I am going to make a difference in life by just being what i am.well this really makes me wonder if I do have any admirers in life except obviously my parents sister and close relationships!(ohh well,here I have my answer none in friends!)that kind of is really sad that I never found one true soul of a friend up until these years of life!one who would call me and ask me hey Bhavana wassup how are you?!and I really love you as a part of my life and as a person and I really would like to know how you are doing always in circumstances of life you might be in and sadly,It’s the same on my part too.Never found a soul like that! will I ever find one ? But the real question is it essential to have a person like that.well of course the answer is YES! One should have good people in one’s life for one’s own self.
In school you want friends whom you can beat because you are rebellious in nature at that time and you have friends who would beat you.so why complain!?you have friends to call and complain about studies the humongous syllabus the bad teachers the good teachers the favourite ones and the ones you are a favourite of and studies that you aren’t able to cope up and wish that your friend wouldn’t even be able to ohh but that doesn’t mean I am being dishonest it just means that v r pretty much at each other’s back!motivating with a little cheating or say motivating to be in the race …it’s like! Hey ya!you are there !!! And I feel good about this 😉that’s the kinda companionship you wish for at that time in life mayb.
Like as a school girl I would really waste my time day dreaming on a bench of two staring at the blackboard for hours blankly! That’s a pretty amazing skill you know and I had many who were like me.thats the best part you know !
And then there were the others who would secretly take tuitions from the school teachers be their sacred loving pet and just get a little ahead of my ass !wt heck,I mean we all ended up the same you know ! Post Graduate 👩🏻🎓 degrees you know !!! Isn’t that kool !? Some became the prince 🤴🏻while some the pauper 👩🏻💻i belong to the second category proudly!yeah,never mind 🙄🤓 (hey btw I’m typing on an iPad Air and contemplating on spending on an iMac,amazing tech to have really!)
So to think of it as a school girl I never believed in cramming I believed in understanding each subject each lesson to the best I could and yeah that’s how I had my share of success too! But understanding lessons turns out to be pretty different from understanding people friends and it hardly matters because as a matter of fact lessons seem more friendlier than anybody else in this whole wide world 🌎!so at the end I ended up being pretty unsocial unfriendly lonely sorta human being and that totally sucks now ! But what the hell I have this amazing thing of talent to express clearly the thoughts and put it in words which saves me really from a nervous breakdown and most amazingly saves my teardrops! So everything’s just worth it!
Then,MBA was all and only about me! Because I thought I have all that it takes to be an MBA at the first place and now really when I look back feels the truth! It’s like I can shout out loud no pretence,no politics,no group hangouts,no faking with dumbass boys and girls but instead believing you are the best and I care no shit if anyone out there is better than me!lol but the truth is many turned out better than I thought!,,,, I am my own SELF PROPAGANDA !tougher times make you say that !
You know I learn,that’s how everyone ends up,being for oneself !and that’s pretty challenging 🍺
but you know it’s kinda a happy thing to write this out ! Sharing a bit 🍕